When the Morning Starts with Self-Blame.

You open your eyes, and your brain is already yelling:

“Again, you woke up late. You’re are a failure.

“Again, you’re behind on everything.

“Again, you’re avoiding the thing — why can’t you just do it?”

This was my morning today. Maybe it was yours, too.

And while those thoughts looped in my head, I could feel the rest of it:

So much tightness in my jaw, shallow breath, my shoulders collapsed in.

One thing I’ve learned from trauma-sensitive yoga — especially through the TCTSY (Trauma Center Trauma-Sensitive Yoga) method — is a different way of speaking to myself.

A way that doesn’t push, control, blame, judge, or demand, but invites, suggests, and explores.

In TCTSY, we practice something called invitational language. It’s about curiosity instead of judgment, space instead of direction, safety instead of coercion.

So I’ve started bringing that same spirit into my everyday life — including the way I meet myself on hard mornings like today. Some days I forget. Other days I remember.

But more and more, I’m aware of the tone I take with myself.

Maybe these reframes will land for you, too.

Instead of:

“Again, you woke up late. You’re a failure.

Reframe: “ Maybe your body needed rest. You took care of yourself.”

Instead of:

“Again, you’re behind on everything.

Reframe: “Perhaps, I am moving at the pace I can right now. I am still showing up for this even if I am a bit late with stuff".

Instead of:

“Again, you’re avoiding the thing — why can’t you just do it?”

Reframe: “I notice that something about this feels hard right now, and that’s okay. Maybe I need to shift, stretch, or move before coming back to this.”

I often catch myself speaking to myself in a way I would never speak to a friend.

So I’m trying to build a habit: Whenever I notice that inner harshness — the judgment, the blame — I pause.

And I check in: How does it feel in my body when I talk to myself like this?

Is there a way I could reframe what I’m blaming myself for?

Not to sugarcoat it, but to interrupt the story that loops us through self-loathing, guilt, and shame.

And guilt and shame won’t lead us home. I’ve tried that path for years.

It doesn’t lead anywhere.

/Anna